That your son has a clock with a countdown in his head, without a doubt, marks character. Having to fight to try to stop the account or at least slow it down is a task that, inevitably, ends up hardening you, either for better or worse. This account has accelerated in the last month, which has forced your mother and me to make an extra effort to try to normalize it again. Fortunately, we already know what to expect, we have a clear plan and we have launched it quickly.
Uncertainty and indecision are among the worst things to deal with, so learning to make quick decisions and not questioning them, in this environment, is a great virtue that helps you move forward. Sometimes, we insist on going over things so much that we end up entering a catharsis that prevents us from making decisions or being calm with the ones we have made. In my opinion, a bad decision at the right time can be better than a good one at the wrong time.
These experiences are teaching me to value direct and, above all, sincere people. We waste too much time on the packaging and yet we forget that the most important thing is what someone has inside. The movie Silence, by Martin Scorsesedeals with this topic, makes one wonder what is really important, whether the external signs and traditions, so relevant in this society, or what we really carry in our hearts.
This makes us base relationships on rituals that should help us succeed in them, but we end up giving them so much importance that they stop being a means to become an end, which means that, when they disappear, relationships end.
The typical example of this is love. It may happen that we fall more in love with love itself than with the person himself. We like the tingling of the first months, being accompanied, the plans… but deep down it doesn’t matter who we are with, since what attracts us is the situation and not so much the person. Therefore, in the face of difficulties, love disappears.
When a couple has to constantly fight against a child’s timer, the layers that cover their love inevitably erode to such an extent that love itself is exposed, nothing else, and that’s when you realize if what is really built is of straw or concrete.
For your mother and me, or for so many other couples who face similar situations, couple things as simple as going out to dinner, walking, sleeping, traveling or laughing… become sporadic actions, of short duration and with the difficulty Added to be aware of it.
True love is known when, just like flowers bloom, it opens and shows the interior with no more protection than love itself. At that moment, you realize that the important thing is to be with the loved one and not where or how.
So many couples come to mind, parents of extraordinary children, who have silently taught me so much about love. All of them with the same profile: direct, sincere and without caring about appearances, since they focus on what is really important, the interior and not the packaging.
I am immensely happy knowing that, despite trials and difficulties, my love for your mother is full, even if it is sometimes silent. Our love story will not be the most beautiful, but, without a doubt, it is eternal.
I love you.
*Álvaro Villanueva is the father of Alvarete, a child who suffers from a rare disease, and is the founder of the AVA Fighters Foundation.